Lotus666
06-08-09, 10:30 PM
This one from The Nickmeister in 2007...
For those not in the know, 'Grindhouse' is an experiment in which three hours and twelve minutes of screentime is used to replicate the double feature experience that a viewer would face in 1970's America in which two bad movies would be joined up with a bunch of theatrical trailers. And we're talking really bad theaters, here, and a whole bunch of badly-acted yet inventive films.
Sadly, this review is going to seem stupid since 'Grindhouse' will only be released in America in its current long-ass form. For everybody else in the world, thanks to the wisdom of the Weinstein Company, you'll see both Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" and Robert Rodriegez's "Planet Terror" as two separate features, hopefully with the trailers stuck somewhere in between.
So, how does one review a simulacrum of two bad movies made intentionally bad? Easy, by steps. WARNING: The following might reveal spoilers, so on your own head be it:
MACHETE: First part of the movie starts with a trailer for an imaginary movie called Machete. Danny Trejo plays the title character who is basically a cheap Mexican hitman with a knife fetish. Imagine Shaft as Edward James Olmos' mutated brother, and you got this. Awesome all around.
PLANET TERROR: Rose McGowan versus the zombies. For some reason a lot of people are turning into bubbling masses of human goo who feast on the living, and now our stripper hero (McGowan, duh) takes them on with her new leg which happens to be an M-16.
WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS: With Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu. You think I'm explaining this one? Let Rob Zombie, he directed the damn thing.
DON'T!: Parody of what happened to actually scary British films that got ported over to America. After they changed their names to something shocking and pointless and made the trailer as confusing as possible to instill fear. So that's what you're getting.
THANKSGIVING: Eli Roth, director of Hostel, recreates the perfect parody of the slasher film trailer. There's no real way to describe how hilarious, absurd, insane, and utterly gory this trailer is but it's perfect to describe the mood of 'Grindhouse' as a whole. Plus you can see it on YouTube as a legitimately released trailer. Here you go, but it's not safe for work and pretty darn gross and hilarious so watch it, watch it now. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=nbSKnL4WFJM)
DEATH-PROOF: Quentin Tarantino's film about...well, it's hard to explain. You see, the beauty of this film (and the actual truth) is that it's not really a horror film as much as it's a joke. In fact, if anybody wants, I can explain it to them but it's really esoteric. It is a pretty good little shocker of a film that, thanks to Tarantino's knowledge of this particular movie genre, is able to make something hilarious, exciting, and absurd at the same time. Sadly, it does take a little while to take off because Tarantino still insists on killing his movies with the classic 'let's talk about a movie while eating/discussing scene that could have easily been cut without really messing up the movie' thing that he always does just to show that all those movies he watches aren't really wastes of time. Of course they aren't, but showing off on a movie doesn't really ADD anything to the film that well-placed references couldn't. Regardless, it's a fitting end to this whole experience.
So, if you can--and since the distributors of this whole film experience are going to jack off the non-American audience by releasing these as two films--get the American release of Grindhouse and enjoy. It's a very well done attempt to showcase the '70s theater scene and honestly.....I just haven't had this much true fun in YEARS.
Grade: See it!
:)
For those not in the know, 'Grindhouse' is an experiment in which three hours and twelve minutes of screentime is used to replicate the double feature experience that a viewer would face in 1970's America in which two bad movies would be joined up with a bunch of theatrical trailers. And we're talking really bad theaters, here, and a whole bunch of badly-acted yet inventive films.
Sadly, this review is going to seem stupid since 'Grindhouse' will only be released in America in its current long-ass form. For everybody else in the world, thanks to the wisdom of the Weinstein Company, you'll see both Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" and Robert Rodriegez's "Planet Terror" as two separate features, hopefully with the trailers stuck somewhere in between.
So, how does one review a simulacrum of two bad movies made intentionally bad? Easy, by steps. WARNING: The following might reveal spoilers, so on your own head be it:
MACHETE: First part of the movie starts with a trailer for an imaginary movie called Machete. Danny Trejo plays the title character who is basically a cheap Mexican hitman with a knife fetish. Imagine Shaft as Edward James Olmos' mutated brother, and you got this. Awesome all around.
PLANET TERROR: Rose McGowan versus the zombies. For some reason a lot of people are turning into bubbling masses of human goo who feast on the living, and now our stripper hero (McGowan, duh) takes them on with her new leg which happens to be an M-16.
WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS: With Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu. You think I'm explaining this one? Let Rob Zombie, he directed the damn thing.
DON'T!: Parody of what happened to actually scary British films that got ported over to America. After they changed their names to something shocking and pointless and made the trailer as confusing as possible to instill fear. So that's what you're getting.
THANKSGIVING: Eli Roth, director of Hostel, recreates the perfect parody of the slasher film trailer. There's no real way to describe how hilarious, absurd, insane, and utterly gory this trailer is but it's perfect to describe the mood of 'Grindhouse' as a whole. Plus you can see it on YouTube as a legitimately released trailer. Here you go, but it's not safe for work and pretty darn gross and hilarious so watch it, watch it now. (http://youtube.com/watch?v=nbSKnL4WFJM)
DEATH-PROOF: Quentin Tarantino's film about...well, it's hard to explain. You see, the beauty of this film (and the actual truth) is that it's not really a horror film as much as it's a joke. In fact, if anybody wants, I can explain it to them but it's really esoteric. It is a pretty good little shocker of a film that, thanks to Tarantino's knowledge of this particular movie genre, is able to make something hilarious, exciting, and absurd at the same time. Sadly, it does take a little while to take off because Tarantino still insists on killing his movies with the classic 'let's talk about a movie while eating/discussing scene that could have easily been cut without really messing up the movie' thing that he always does just to show that all those movies he watches aren't really wastes of time. Of course they aren't, but showing off on a movie doesn't really ADD anything to the film that well-placed references couldn't. Regardless, it's a fitting end to this whole experience.
So, if you can--and since the distributors of this whole film experience are going to jack off the non-American audience by releasing these as two films--get the American release of Grindhouse and enjoy. It's a very well done attempt to showcase the '70s theater scene and honestly.....I just haven't had this much true fun in YEARS.
Grade: See it!
:)