Lotus666
06-08-09, 09:27 PM
Another Nick Zbu original contribution from 2003...
Well, I saw it. I paid $8.75 for it and despite taking half a day off of work to do it--I was bored, for shit's sake--I also had to wait a half an hour because the film at the first showing broke.
Despite all this...I enjoyed myself immensely. The movie somehow fulfilled all my expectations and more. Despite all the minor scares being accomplished with more music than actual scare, it was very effective and a very nice touch to see Robert Englund back in action: his Kruger keeps getting more and more evil and tastefully ignores both New Nightmare (because it never happened) and Final Nightmare as....well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?
Needless to say, whomever wrote this knew their shit and somehow uses both Elm Street and Friday the 13th mythology but doesn't use it constantly to the point of having to really think things out: we are also given a bit more insight into the Jason Voorhees character which explains a little bit more about how he become a full-sized human adult who was more than willing to go on rampages.
Also of note is the distinct LACK of that Scream-smartassery that ruined any could-have-been decent horror film in the '90s: the characters play the movie straight which is definitely a plus: no more 'rules' of a horror film, it's more 'what the **** do we do now that Jason and Freddy are ****ing with each other and taking us out left, right, and center.' And it's wonderful to know that the killer isn't leading the kids to the slaughter.....it's 'either it's Jason and it's real life or the kid fell asleep and it's Freddy...if he's at full power or not.' All and all, this helps the movie immensely.
And what about the actual title bout? Well, I won't spoil it for you. Needless to say, Jason is one tough mother****er and Freddy is short. You can't mask it. And the murders themselves are either hilariously funny, brutally horrifying, or an odd mixture of both which makes me really sad that the age of the slasher film is well behind us. Or is it? Either way, the clash of two terror titans makes it clear that even if the '80s are dead, at least they can still come back and outstage any horror film made in the past ten years with no problem. It's a good day when the only pet peeve I have about a film is that Jason was soley reliant on his trusty machete...and that's saying something!
****, it even has nudity! When was the last time you could say that about a horror film??
So.....
New Nightmare? Forgotten.
Freddy's Dead? Never existed.
Jason X? Buried.
Jason Goes to Hell? Only the last ten seconds matter, baby, because this is the real deal, and it's about ****ing time. Now, where's the sequels? They're back, baby!!
ELEVEN SLASHES OUT OF TEN
However, I don't know how anybody can stand that Michael Bay trailer for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoff. **** that. Get five bucks and rent the original, save yourself the time.
Well, I saw it. I paid $8.75 for it and despite taking half a day off of work to do it--I was bored, for shit's sake--I also had to wait a half an hour because the film at the first showing broke.
Despite all this...I enjoyed myself immensely. The movie somehow fulfilled all my expectations and more. Despite all the minor scares being accomplished with more music than actual scare, it was very effective and a very nice touch to see Robert Englund back in action: his Kruger keeps getting more and more evil and tastefully ignores both New Nightmare (because it never happened) and Final Nightmare as....well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?
Needless to say, whomever wrote this knew their shit and somehow uses both Elm Street and Friday the 13th mythology but doesn't use it constantly to the point of having to really think things out: we are also given a bit more insight into the Jason Voorhees character which explains a little bit more about how he become a full-sized human adult who was more than willing to go on rampages.
Also of note is the distinct LACK of that Scream-smartassery that ruined any could-have-been decent horror film in the '90s: the characters play the movie straight which is definitely a plus: no more 'rules' of a horror film, it's more 'what the **** do we do now that Jason and Freddy are ****ing with each other and taking us out left, right, and center.' And it's wonderful to know that the killer isn't leading the kids to the slaughter.....it's 'either it's Jason and it's real life or the kid fell asleep and it's Freddy...if he's at full power or not.' All and all, this helps the movie immensely.
And what about the actual title bout? Well, I won't spoil it for you. Needless to say, Jason is one tough mother****er and Freddy is short. You can't mask it. And the murders themselves are either hilariously funny, brutally horrifying, or an odd mixture of both which makes me really sad that the age of the slasher film is well behind us. Or is it? Either way, the clash of two terror titans makes it clear that even if the '80s are dead, at least they can still come back and outstage any horror film made in the past ten years with no problem. It's a good day when the only pet peeve I have about a film is that Jason was soley reliant on his trusty machete...and that's saying something!
****, it even has nudity! When was the last time you could say that about a horror film??
So.....
New Nightmare? Forgotten.
Freddy's Dead? Never existed.
Jason X? Buried.
Jason Goes to Hell? Only the last ten seconds matter, baby, because this is the real deal, and it's about ****ing time. Now, where's the sequels? They're back, baby!!
ELEVEN SLASHES OUT OF TEN
However, I don't know how anybody can stand that Michael Bay trailer for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ripoff. **** that. Get five bucks and rent the original, save yourself the time.