Deepest Pits of Hell Redux

[Lord Destroyer]

Before the big crash, Lotty posted a thread asking anybody who would they consign to the deepest pits of hell. It could be anybody, real or imaginary, who got your wick - but seeing as it was posted outside of Babel, religious and political figures were verboten (leastways, that's the impression I got).

I got another one I want to consign.

I submit...People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

Just when I think they can't go any lower in terms of intelligence after that ridiculously stupid "Got Beer?" campaign (drink beer instead of milk - rot your brain and liver as opposed to strengthening your bones and teeth), they proved me wrong recently. They had the gall to put up a billboard in my hometown saying "Save the Whales" which equated eating meat with getting fat.

I, speaking as someone who enjoys meat, resent that implication. I'll eat meat all I want, and if those assholes have a problem with it, they're more than welcome to go dunk their heads underwater 3 times and come up for air twice.

For more reasons why I don't like them, go HERE (http://www.petakillsanimals.com), HERE (http://www.nokillnow.com/PETA1000.htm), and HERE (http://www.consumerfreedom.com/pressRelease_detail.cfm/release/258).

[Lotus666]

Appalling. :awww:

Definitely consigned to the very deepest Pits of Hell! :smash:

[Lord Destroyer]

I read from one of those sites I linked - the head honcho of PETA bragged she had surgery so she couldn't have kids. Fine by me - I wouldn't fuck her if she was the last female on the face of this planet, and it's a good thing she decided to not have her inferior genetic material pollute the gene pool. That's probably the only smart thing she's done in her life.

[Roz]

Every single member of the Learning Skills Council past and present.

[Lotus666]

Want us to throw in thumbscrews and hot Imp Minion pokers up their backsides? :see:

[Lord Destroyer]

In fact, here's a picture of that offensive PETA billboard - somebody was kind enough to upload a picture of it to I Can Has Cheezburger (ICHC) so I could put up my own caption.

Shortly after I made and uploaded my own caption, I saved it to the hard drive in case certain people at ICHC get pissy about it and have it deleted - so that's why it's in the form of an attachment.

Here it is:

[Lotus666]

:laugh: Good idea, LD - save it from disappearing. :yes:

[Lord Destroyer]

That billboard proves to me that those with a brain need not apply with PETA.

[Lotus666]

:laugh: They are a bit extreme...

[Lord Destroyer]

Someone I submitted before the big crash - Jack Thompson.

He was (note the WAS) a bonkers ambulance chaser whose mama didn't teach him his mouth isn't for breaking wind. His shenanigans ultimately cost him his law license about a year ago - before then, he acted like he was above the law and believed a bunch of paranoid delusions that the world was out to get him.

Last I heard of him, he was planning on suing Facebook because of a bunch of angry comments aimed at him. Pfft...you reap what you sow, ya loudmouthed douche. You could've left video games alone and continued with your crusade against rap, but nope. You just had to believe that stupid idea that fictional violence equals real-life violence.

When it comes to something as complex as violence, I adhere to one particular guideline - the easy answer is often the wrong one. Violence has been around LONG before video games were even a viable idea!

[Lotus666]

The Bloody Housework Fairy! :grrr: :lf: :grrr:

She always by-passes my place, and if I caught the biatch, would gladly pull her wings off today. Lovely day outside, and I am stuck inside catching up on the cleaning! *le sigh* :rolleyes:

[Lord Destroyer]

Another submission...Perez Hilton.

Seriously, what the fuck has this walking freak show done to warrant being called famous, anyway? All he ever does is write trash and gossip on some online blog and spread hateful rumors about anybody who became famous through legitimate ways and means (read: means other than a sex tape posted on the Internet). The reason why I call him a walking freak show is because the pics I've seen of him show him with crazy-colored hair and outfits that would make fashion designers cringe.

Luckily for some other lazy-eyed slut with the last name of Hilton, Perez isn't related to her (thank goodness for small favors) - it's because his name is a pseudonym (no surprise there). I daresay the last name is because Perez writes great things about Paris Hilton and nobody else - he might as well change his name to "Paris's Anus-Dwelling Gerbil".

I have no problems with gays per se, (Perez is gay, again no surprise), but this freak's doings do gays and lesbians a major disservice. He went as far as getting in the face of will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas and calling him a faggot (pot calling the kettle black, anyone?) and he got slugged in the face for it. What does Perez do after that? He goes on his webcam and whines he was "assaulted", instead of accept the fact he deserved it for being a no-class douche.

[Lotus666]

:laugh: He sounds a (cringe) worthy inductee - send 'em to HELL! :wicked: I've heard of/seen him before.

In other news...there's a show here called "Snog Marry Avoid", and it attempts to restore make-up/glitter/fake tan addicts back to "Natural Beauty".

>>>Insert the term/s Slappers, Knobheads & Wankers here!<<<

They have a computer called "POD" (Personal Overhaul Device) who tells them what they look like in no uncertain terms. I started watching it because it was a right hoot. Try to grab a look on YouTube - it's sure to be there.

Talk about bitchy computers...LOL :laugh:

[Lord Destroyer]

Another one I submitted before the big crash - Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

They're the ones who produced such garbage movies like Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie. I haven't heard of them ever since they were nominated for a shitload of Razzies last year (they didn't win any, unfortunately) - hopefully they finally realized they can't write or direct their way out of a wet paper bag.

The Friedberg & Seltzer formula for making a crap movie is as follows:

1. Take the plot of a popular movie.
2. Dumb it down so that people with single-digit IQ's can understand it.
3. Throw in piss-poor impersonations of the characters from the original movies that are being "spoofed".
4. Add in a heaping helping of toilet humor, people getting hit by cars or crushed by heavy things, and a dash of pop-culture references.
5. Blend together.
6. And voila - one Friedberg and Seltzer pile of shit. Serves enough people stupid enough to pay money to watch it.

[Lord Destroyer]

I recently heard of something that the walking freak show Perez Hilton did recently...but I daresay it's square in the area of TMFI.

Let's just say it involves a "modified" up-skirt picture of someone famous who isn't 18 years old (initials M.C.).

Jeez...just when I think the walking freak show can't possibly be any less stupid, he proves me wrong big time. Personally, I hope he winds up in the slammer and learns what happens to those who cross the line too often.

[Lord Destroyer]

Dear God...just when I start thinking Friedberg and Seltzer finally got it through their thick skulls that they can't write or direct their way out of a wet paper bag, they prove me wrong.

Another one of their crap-fests is coming to theaters in August, called Vampires Suck. Sounds like they're desperate to get a Razzie by any means necessary. A parody of Twilight (which I've heard a lot of hate for), add in predictable "jokes", pop-culture references, and other swill...that'll win them a lot of Razzies, of that I'm very certain.

[Lotus666]

:laugh:

[Lord Destroyer]

Oh, man...here's one for the "full of it" department.

Perez Hilton claims he's gonna change the way he writes about others in his blog, he's grown and matured, etc. etc.

I have one thing to say about that...*cough*BULLSHIT!*cough* *cough*BULLSHIT!*cough*

I know what he's going to do...continue writing great things about Paris Hilton even when she makes an ass of herself and continue writing terrible things (complete with constant usage of the word "faggot" (pot calling the kettle black)) about everybody else and do "touch-ups" of their photos.

If Perez thinks I believe that load of horseshit he claims he'll do, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell him.

[Lord Destroyer]

Got another submission (already vented in the Pisses Me Off thread):

The Jacksonville Jaguars.

In 3 out of the last 4 seasons, they had a chance to get into the playoffs if all they did was WIN A FREAKING GAME with less than 5 games to go in the regular season...they lose all their remaining games of the season! It happened 3 seasons ago, it happened last season, and it happened AGAIN this season!

As far as I'm concerned, I'm not spending another penny on those choke artists. I'm not buying tickets to their games or anything with their logo and/or colors on it. They can cry poor till they're blue in the face; all their home games can be blacked out; hell, they can move to some other city for all I care; the fact remains they're getting nothing from me until they get their act together.

[Lord Destroyer]

Man, can I call it or what?

Vampires Suck (a Friedberg/Seltzer pile of shit (Lord, I apologize for insulting shit, be with the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea, amen)) was nominated for 4 Razzies.

Vampires Suck was nominated for:


Worst Picture
Worst Director (no surprise there)
Worst Screenplay (again, no surprise - F&S can't write or direct their way out of a wet paper bag)
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel


Here's hoping the outcome is enough of a wake-up call for Hollywood to send those two no-talent hacks into the gutter where they belong. I get the feeling that Friedberg and Seltzer write their trash (Lord, I apologize for insulting trash, be with the starving pygmies down there in New Guinea, amen) when they're tripping balls.

[Lotus666]

:laugh: Well put, LD! :yes:

[Lord Destroyer]

And, unfortunately, no Razzies for Friedberg and Seltzer. Looks like Avatar the Last Airbender beat them in just about every category that they or Vampires Suck was in.

Even then, I hope they get the message that getting a Razzie isn't something to brag about - it should be a wake-up call that THE STUFF THEY MAKE SUCKS OUT LOUD.

[Lotus666]

:laugh:

[Lord Destroyer]

Might as well say it - I submit Harold Camping.

Unless you've been living under a rock these past few years, you should have heard of this guy. He's the one who originally claimed the world would end on September 6, 1994, but nothing happened. He used the "mathematical error" excuse and did more number crunching with numbers he most likely pulled out of his wrinkly ass - he arrived at the conclusion of "Rapture on May 21, 2011, end of the world October 21, 2011".

May 21 came and went...NOTHING HAPPENED. Now, instead of giving up this nonsense and riding off into the sunset, he revises it to October 21. Geez, a brain-dead person would have had enough sense to stop. Seriously, what part of "No man shall know the time" does that withered old flake NOT understand?

Somebody was kind enough to upload a pic of him on I Can Has Cheezburger (ICHC) - I really ripped on him with these captions I made. I saved 'em to my hard drive in case some folks at ICHC get pissy about it and delete 'em, so that's why they're attachments.

[Lotus666]

PMSL! :D Nice ripping... :yes:

[Lord Destroyer]

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, Lotty - got a deep well of vitriol I'd like to use on a fraud like him, but I'm saving it for when his latest prediction flops like a beached fish... ;) :smirk:

[Lotus666]

Who would I cast into the deepest pit? Feckin' looters - the whole feckin' lot of them! :grrr:

[Lord Destroyer]

I recently got into the Harry Potter series of books (just finished Order of the Phoenix), and nobody in the series so far gets me peeved faster than...

Dolores Umbridge.

I mean, a lifetime ban for the Weasley twins and Harry from Quidditch just because George and Harry jumped Draco Malfoy after Gryffindor beat Slytherin when Malfoy started it with his trash-talking?

Not to mention Vincent Crabbe did an illegal move directly after Harry grabbed the Snitch (hit a Bludger at Harry when the game was clearly over) - what did Crabbe get? He had to write lines. Is that bullshit or what?

Her blatant favoritism towards Slytherin is gonna land her in real trouble soon enough, I hope. DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS - I'LL FIND OUT BY MYSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[Lotus666]

hehehe...no spoilers given, I promise, LD. How are you finding the books? :) Yea, Dolores Umbridge is a real old bat. Definitely consignable to the deepest pits of hell!

[Lord Destroyer]

I recently finished reading the last two books in the Harry Potter series. Let's just say the last fantasy writer who captured my imagination the way Rowling did was the late David Gemmell (hard to believe he's been dead 5 years already).

After finishing Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, I read up on Wikipedia what Rowling said she did to certain characters that weren't covered in the epilogue. And here's the good stuff - according to Rowling, after Voldemort was defeated once and for all, Dolores Umbridge was arrested, interrogated, convicted, and sent to Azkaban for life for numerous crimes against Muggle-borns. It serves that hateful bitch right.

[Lotus666]

:grrr: With all the fecking changes being made - am ready to consign it to the very bowels of the pits of Hell, let me tell you. :grrr:

Have started getting pokes from "Friends of Friends" (blokes! :lf: ) and I can't change it. Getting REALLY pissed off now.

Would be nice if everyone else got pissed off and came back here - at least I don't go stuffing around with the settings every 2 weeks or so or whatever it currently is.

[/rant]

[Lord Destroyer]

Well, October 21 has come and gone, and the world's still here. Bet that deluded flake Harold Camping has so much egg on his face it would make an omelet big enough to solve world hunger.

I heard Camping's not giving interviews regarding why his predictions flopped like beached fish - who can blame him? If I was him, I would not show my wrinkled visage in public for fear of being tarred and feathered.

As promised, some more rips on that future inhabitant of the eighth circle of hell.

[Lotus666]

:lol: Good ones! :yes:

[Lord Destroyer]

Man, how's this for stupid?

I heard recently that PETA intends to put up a few billboards where they put a picture of a dog's head on that of a turkey and the message says something about not doing this to your pet regarding Thanksgiving in a bid to get kids to not eat turkey for Thanksgiving.

Wow, PETA, way to compare apples and oranges there - turkey is fowl, dogs are MAMMALS. Basic biology MEGA-FAIL. Been subscribing to stupid stereotypes about Chinese and Koreans again? Good grief.

And another one...PETA is screaming bloody murder over one of the suits Mario wears in Super Mario Bros. 3 - the Tanooki Suit. They claim it teaches kids it's okay to wear fur. :groan: Jesus H. Christ...

Those loads of stupidity from PETA proved to me beyond any level of doubt regarding the PETA higher-ups' diet of choice - if brain cells were dynamite, the PETA higher-ups wouldn't have enough to blow their nose. If you took their combined IQ and multiplied it by a hundred, it still wouldn't be high enough for them to tie their shoes without drooling all over themselves. All they did was lend ammo to the claim that a lack of meat in your diet equals brain shrinkage.

[Lotus666]

:laugh: Yea, they are a bit extreme, that's for sure! (Nice use of the :groan: ) :D

[Lord Destroyer]

They'll (PETA, that is) be that way as long as that complete loony Ingrid Newkirk is at the helm, that's for sure.

The stuff she and other PETA higher-ups come up with easily merit a :groan: from anybody with above-average intelligence.

[Lotus666]

:laugh: Indeed... :yes: